Is it desire the spurs insecurity, or is it insecurity an aspect of desire. An element of chance that we appreciate simply because it escapes routine? In any case I exist in a state of happy, desirious insecurity. Unsure as to what I am doing and where I am going with this desire -and as a result increasily insecure in its possession - yet committed to its pursuit. This is all too complex I see. I do not intend to make it simpler though. I will, however, change the subject and discuss a good dinner. Yesterday I went out to a pretty fantastic French restaurant with Anthony. The food was spectacularly good, as was the "do zou vant zome mor guater sir" French on hormones service. Admitedly it was by a French guy so I should not mock him. It is however, difficult to take Frenchness too seriously in the super Anglo, and otherwise Asian environment of Vancouver. It was great chatting with Anthony. Reconnect automatically with the field. Tomorrow I will introduce him at the conference and will eventually go to dinner with him and with, it seems, το αντικείμενο του πόθου. Always interested in those dynamics. It is odd expressing oneself in this open accessible fashion. I do not intend to stop though. At least this way people have a glimpse into my mind. It may even be more honest.