The extremes of satisfaction and frustration with my work all in one afternoon. Earlier I experienced two moments of those that make the life of an academic pleasant and so rewarding. I read a paper by a student, which was truly inspired. Excellent and broad use of primary sources, good manipulation of the information and truly rounded presentation of the various perspectives. I am really happy for him, especially as he has been an oddball in many ways. Still, evidently he worked and performed.

Then there is my most serious student. She is in another plain of existence compared with all the others. An artist, a mother and a pretty responsible presence in my classes, she has been a joy to work with. Her good work is no surprise to me. It was just great to receive her audiovisual "instead-of-a-paper" work. It was well done, funny, and coherently informative. Good use of imagery and music. I wish there were video to add to the mix.

And after these pleasant experiences I read a paper by a student who simply decided that thinking is not his thing. He submits a piece of work that goes against every rule I have tried to establish with painful harping and tedious repetition throughout the semester. No primary sources, a system of reference that makes no sense, and an overal F for his absolute mental absence from my class. I will not venture to say he does not have what it takes. He simply lives in space.

Reading the first student's work and watching my brilliant video producer's piece I had a smile on my face. I was alone at home talking to myself and feeling happy. I was congratulating them in their absence. I would buy them a beer if it were appropriate. Then, reading the last paper I started cussing as if I was addressing a referee who has just given a match-defining 93rd minute unfair penalty to the opposing team.

I am angry, frustrated and yet I am aware that ultimately there is so much I can do. I will take the blessings of work and leave behind the frustrations of lazyness and incompetence.